Monday, December 29, 2008

Humble Pie

I have been eating a lot of pie these past few weeks, and it was awesome stuff. However today I have had a little different kind of pie. Today was the day for humble pie, as I had to repent for my actions to both my family and to one of my best friends.
I was talking to my friend Vanessa, today on facebook we were discussing how hard it really is for God to humble us, but the benefits of it are amazing, from having a clear conscience, to the most wonderful thing God getting Glory through it all.
I am truly blessed that God dished me a little of this humble pie today, I pray that the lord would grow me, and that my awe of Him would increase because of it. Lord may I live out James 4:6


We have come to a turning point in the road. If we turn to the right mayhap our children and our children's children will go that way; but if we turn to the left, generations yet unborn will curse our names for having been unfaithful to God and to His Word. -Charles Spurgeon

I found it

Here is the song Hans mentioned.

I love the chorus



mmm.... poetry

Ok... so I was just listening to Pandora radio (which I highly recommend to all of your enjoyment by the way) and was totally floored by a few lines from a song by Jars of Clay that I had never heard. I got online and found the lyrics... and thought... man... Bud has GOT to see this.... but he's not on so... you all get to share this moment. Check it out:

Oh refuge of my hardened heart
Oh fast pursuing lover come
As angels dance 'round Your throne
My life by captured fare You own

Not silhouette of trodden faith
Nor death shall not my steps be guide
I'll pirouette upon mine grave
For in Your path I'll run and hide


Oh gaze of love so melt my pride
That I may in Your house but kneel
And in my brokenness to cry
Spring worship unto Thee

When beauty breaks the spell of pain
The bludgeoned heart shall burst in vain
But not when love be pointed king
And truth shall Thee forever reign


Sweet Jesus carry me away
From cold of night, and dust of day
In ragged hour or salt worn eye
Be my desire, my well sprung lye

[Chorus x 2]

Spring worship unto Thee
Spring worship unto Thee

was/am awed and grateful... knowing how thin and tense life can make me... knowing the feeling of being non-functional and broken at times... to be reminded of the kind of God I'm chasing after... and the business he is in.


Saturday, December 27, 2008

Satan Is Defeated

This week has been really rough. Some of you know that I will (Lord willing) be moving to South Africa for about 6 months, to work with a missions organization, I am also for the first time in a while blessed to be in a relationship with a wonderful young woman.
I know this doesn’t sound like is was a rough week, but I believe because the Lord is working so much by through His Grace in my life, the Enemy (Satan) is really wanting to destroy what God is doing.
This past week It seems like every temptation imaginable has been put in front of me, and the enemy has been telling me all kinds of lies, from this or that person doesn’t like me, to me having lost my salvation.
I was sharing a little of this last night with a dear friend, she told me I need to rebuke the devil, tell Him he was not in control of my life. I belong to Jesus. I knew this of course, but it wasn’t clicking, I was in a bad state, but my friend was there to be His hands
It sort of reminds me of the story of Peter walking on the water to Jesus. Do you think if the other apostles would have joined him on the water, They would have been able to hold him up until he put his gaze back on the Lord? I feel in the same way my friend, was being a flotation device in a since, until I could look back up, and see the face of Jesus. Praise God for the people he puts in our lives.

The Lord through the obedience of my friend was able to bring me to a point where I could focus on the word, and here is what the Lord has shown me in scripture.

1) Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
James 4:7(ESV) if I resist the Devil he will leave.
2) I am writing to you, little children, because your sins are forgiven for his name’s sake. 1 John. 2:12(ESV) Why fear? I am saved by the grace of God.
3) The seventy-two returned with joy, saying, "Lord, even the demons are subject to us in your name!" Luke 10:17(ESV) I have through Jesus Christ, and by the grace of God, authority over these spirits.

Jesus has already defeated Satan, Praise God.



Thursday, December 25, 2008

Prayer is a monologue.

Many people in various denominations in the world view prayer as a dialogue but I don't agree with that thought.

In the O.T. God spoke through prophets and then God came to earth and spoke for Himself in human form. 

Prayer is a monologue.

God no longer speaks to people directly, but mostly through His word and occasionally other people and circumstances. If you have ever been fortunate enough to be the recipient of God working in another person (what I like to call God with skin on) it is a blessed, wonderous experience.

God reaching out through his word is astounding, to be praying fervently for something and then to open your bible and read a passage that speaks directly to you and your experience is a powerful show of His love. 

For Example:

I am disabled, people pray for my healing all the time and one day I had been discouraged by yet another person who was frustrated because they had been praying for me and yet I was not healed, or even slightly better than before. The usual comment of "you must not have enough faith" had come up and I was angry (at them not God). I opened up my bible and staring out at me was a verse I had never read before.

"3 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5

yet another person had told me I was doing something wrong and that it was MY fault I was disabled, yet here, God was very clearly showing me that it is not from a lack of faith that I am ill! There is good to be had from my inabilities that I may learn to rely on Him and His grace.

So the next time you are praying strongly for something you need or something a loved one needs, open His word.

Soli Deo Gloria

Reformed Anon Girl

Friday, December 19, 2008

Lessons for Today

As an expert Chess player I tend to try to be in control of every situation I am in, The Lord has been showing me through some beautiful happenings this week, that when I try to be in control my life, and not surrendering it to him, things never tend work out the way they should. I am now seeing that if God had not given me the grace to trust him fully in His will for me this week, my life would not be as full as he had wanted it to be. He makes me love him more and more, and shows His Glory through everything if I am willing to recognize that it is Him that is in the center and responsible for it all

I am blessed that God is still working, and speaking to this heart of mine. I have made so mistakes in my past but it is a blessing that God can even use my mistakes for his glory.



Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Grace Upon Grace

This is not the main subject of this blog, but I must give God Glory for it anyway. Many of yew know that I am (Lord Willing) moving to south Africa for a little to work in a radio as an engineer. I created a group for those that are willing to be praying for me while I am over there working. I have been so blessed to see how many people have dedicated themselves to praying, for not only me but for the work in South Africa. Watching the body at work is amazing. Thank you God for each one of these Servants.

Now for the Main Subject of this Blog.
A few months ago a close Friend of mine Hans asked me
“ Bud, Have yew ever played the game of chess”
” No” I said, “I don’t play games at all “
His response to this was “Bud, You play Chess with Life”
I didn’t understand what he meant, and he proceeded to show me how I can, and tend to move pieces (people) around the chessboard to accomplish my “will”
I took this to heart, and started praying about it, and through this one small word I can see where the lord was able to prune not only this but other areas of my Life.
However, After stumbling a bit this week, I was noticing that the heart of selfishness, that I’m going to call this game of chess, was trying to surface again, I was chatting with my best friend on Skype. I had to get off because I really didn’t know what was going on, so therefore didn’t know how to explain to my friend, Needless to say she was a bit confused, but gracefully let me go.

I was able this morning to contemplate, after the Lord gave me wisdom in the situation, how wonderful the Grace of God really is. Fist I got to see it in my friend, who with the patience of job, put up with my foolishness. I also got to see in how God is taking my selfish heart, and continuing to prune it, so that He can get glory in the end. Praise God!!!!